Discipline

Disciplining an almost-two-year old is fun.

I seriously almost just left this post with only the above sentence. Because I'm pretty sure I don't have to elaborate on that much. Anyone who has, had, or been around a two-year old knows that they can be a challenge. Independence, Opinions, Abilities, Frustrations, Wants, Needs, Mine all collide into a mess of frustrations. Called being two.

In all honestly, Caris is a pretty good little toddler. Hilarious, always, which certainly keeps things joyful. And I am thankful for a few things that have worked in our favor. She is very verbal, which has REALLY helped work through frustrations. She follows directions well (thanks to school) and loves to be a helper, so I kind of know how to refocus. She is not overly physically active, either, which makes it easier to keep things corralled. And she went through an independent-my-way streak a little earlier, so we've worked through some of that. Those things help.

But still. Discipline is fun.

Too be honest, I have always been very nervous about my ability to discipline. A little too tender-hearted, a little too over-analytical, I felt I would very much struggle in this area. And truthfully, I have no idea really what I'm doing. I know there are tons of theories, books etc. out there and I have done my share of reading. But what I am learning is much like what I learned in the infant stage.

It kind of comes naturally. You can read, analyze, research, and worry to death. But what I have found, is if I give myself some time and really listen to Caris and watch how our personalities interact, we can end up with a much more workable solution. That most of the time, end up looking quite similar to one of the never-ending researched theories. I found this to be the case in nursing, feeding, developmental stages, sleeping, all sorts of things I worried myself too much over.

In the end, doing what is best for my daughter and our family works out just fine. It takes time, no doubt. And it takes doubt, for a time. But you find your way. Together.

I get lots of opinions, ideas, and advice. My degrees were in related fields. I know the knowledge is there. But what works best? My instincts. I truly never really felt I would have the 'Motherly' demeanor. But it's there. And I am learning to try to trust it.

That being said, disciplining a two year old is fun.

Particularly when you know the reason they are acting up is because of fatigue (that I've contributed too) or valid source of excitement or varied other explainable reasons.

But we are entering a stage where our discipline looks much more structured. And I am becoming much more cognizant of how to enforce. And with all that being said about finding our way and what works best for you, I'd love to hear what works for others. Ideas to add to the toolbox
never hurt :)

Right now, here's a little of what we are doing: We do a lot of 'serious talks, look at Mommy's eyes', showing appropriate uses of hands, telling mad feelings to walk away, persistently focusing on a solution until an 'I'm sorry' or remedy is utilized. I've started to try do some 'take aways' and rewards, mainly in the form of books. That isn't working great. Does it just take time? I could probably go on, but I'm finding kind of hard to extrapolate implementation into words :)

Disciplining a two year old is fun.

The overarching thing I've come to realize, is that with lots of love and lots of patience, technique is kind of secondary. My most successful forms of discipline come when I am PATIENT and don't let my emotions get in the way. And I let LOVE dominate the interaction. Truly, I think those two things are the most important and successful way to discipline. I am hoping if I focus on those truths, the little techniques will fall into place.

But really, would love to get some feedback from those who have been there and are doing that :)

Por que?

Caris has entered a 'Why?' stage as of late. Meaning, every provided answer she follows up with an inquisitive 'But why Mommy?'

Por ejemplo - 'But why are there no oranges in the car Mommy?' 'Because the oranges are at home in the refrigerator' 'Oh. Why Mommy?' 'Because oranges have to stay cold and it isn't cold in the car.' 'Oh'

And so on and so forth.

'Why' finds itself pleasantly inquired throughout the day. It's pretty funny. And I've found myself really starting to have to think. Really? Why is that cat sitting on the car? Not so sure.

And why Por Que?

A current favortive Caris item is her Little Pim videos in Spanish. Garrett got these for C as her Christmas gift. And although we were both teased for our nerdy presents (thank goodness for fun aunties and uncles and baby loving grandmas) Caris seriously loves these videos. She asks for them on par with the amount of times she inquires for 'George' videos and 'Toy Story'. Plus she loves the Pim doll.

We've loved them too, subsequently. And they have become our car-to favorite. Caris loves them and they seem to really work. C loves saying 'Adios! Hasta Pronto!', Pim's signature statement.

So the pre-emption for the orange/why conversation has a direct correlation to Little Pim. In the midst of a Pim video, I hear Caris begin asking for something. Becoming more persistant. VERY persistant. But I can't quite figure out what it is she is asking for.

Finally, I realize she is making an attempt at saying 'Naranja'
Oh, you want Oranges! Yes, Orange!
Which is currently on Caris' top food list, she goes through 3 a day. Goodness. I should have known.

Needless to say, I may want to brush up on my Espanol.

I wonder how long until she starts in with Por que??

This weekend...

We are celebrating Garrett's entry into the next decade, welcoming the Big 30. I think I MAY be a bit more excited than he is :) We have a few things planned for this weekend and next and I am hoping it provides some much needed relief from this CRAZY work schedule/little sleep he's been on lately. Friends, family, dinners, trips, and celebrations are in the works. Hopefully all add up to a little stress relief and celebrate the 30 years of life that have made a GREAT man, husband, father, son, brother, friend.

We've been prepping Caris for the birthday weekend. Apparently there have been quite a few birthdays lately at school, so she has come home from school lately singing 'Happy To you Birthday'. When you ask her whose birthday it is, she emphatically insists 'MINE'. Just before this little video I convinced her it was actually Daddy's birthday and she got real excited and started to sing 'Happy to You Birthday Daddy'. As soon as I got the camera out, a tired, hungry girl resorted to this:

I think somebody is going to REALLY love her birthday this year.

Let's hope she gets on board with Daddy's birthday before this weekend.... :)

Ps and Qs and Ws

(yes, I totally left Caris in her pajamas on a weekend morning and let her pair them with a tutu and rain boots and - her choice, clearly - then play outside for a few hours. hey, it worked. but I won't even tell you what my outfit looked)

And to the title point.....

We've been introducing the Please and Thank yous from the outset. I'm sure most parents know the drill. A little modeling, a little insistence, etc. Caris began with utilizing sign language for please, which too be honest, I didn't quite pick up that was what she was doing for awhile.....that's good parenting right there. And then the 'thank you' was a bit delayed in usage.

So this morning, during our little daily commute, an opportunity arose from a little grape sharing to instill some Ps and Qs.

Caris, say please if you want another grape.

PEEASSEE (with the sign still utilized, the same when she asks for more)

And then what do you say when someone gives you what you ask for?

Silence.

Say Thank you!

Thank you!!

And then, Mommy says Your welcome!

And the rest of grape-sharing was repetition. That went like this....

Pleaaase more grapes Mommy!

And after someone gives you what you ask for? Now what do you say?

Thank you! I Welcome!!!

Not the intended lesson, but apparently now the thank you is now always immediately followed by 'I Welcome!'

I'm guessing she'll figure it out. But for now, we will take a W with our Ps and Qs.

Which, incidentally, are three of Caris' favorite letters? Along with O and S. Caris LOVES naming her letters.

Okay, random post. Concluded.

Perhaps I will have a post with real pictures and coherency soon.

No promises.

Embracing Purple

There is irony found in the color.

Perhaps without reason (or perhaps with) I have throughout the years been a self-proclaimed loather of purple. For some reason, I turn my nose up at the presentation of purple in all of it's forms. No one is quite sure why, myself included. But this is a legitimate, long-standing conviction I've held. Visibly making faces when presented this as a color option in my wedding flowers, I declared no purple be present in any bouquets! No purple! It's been a running joke in my family.

My search for baby room decorations were insistent on no evidence of purple. I sought blues, yellows, and greens. I picked clothes out in tones of grey, brown, orange, and blacks and whites. I begrudgingly allowed the presence of pink to be present, but honestly, not without convincing and in minimal presentation. Pink, as it turns out, is just too precious to pass up in little girl form.

But purple, I stuck to my convictions of No Purple! No Purple! Be allowed in my little girls room or attire.

And so, naturally, Caris began to show preference for the purple. And as a tongue-in-cheek fun, my mom began to indulge the purple. It became a thing. Caris always choosing the purple clothes. Purple being her first color recognized and a clear word utilized. And then enter purplicious.

So I am embracing the purple. Dressing Caris in the color multiple times a week, seeking out purple ice cream, and finding purple accessories to make our purplicious girl smile. Purple, it seems, has made it's way into my wardrobe, my decor, my vocabulary. Caris requests purple clothes and purple shoes, and I don't argue.

Embracing the purple. Clearly metaphorical, teaches me so much. Caris is already such a strong personality. She is fully Caris. She is sweet, loving, strong-willed, opinionated, bossy, sensitive, moody, hilarious. Introverted at times and loving the center of attention the next. She is attentive to detail, particular, creative, and stubborn. And this is evident before she is two. Caris will be who she is. Pieces revealing themselves over time. In the friends she chooses, hobbies preferred, career desired, interests invoked. And likely, wearing purple.

And whatever projections, imaginations, pre-conceived notions I have or had of my first born are side notes. Yes, my little C may love rocks and trees and birds as I dreamed when I created her nature themed room. She loves books, as I both hoped and feared (you would too if you saw her Dad's book collection and associated expenses).

But unpredicted, she also loves all things fancy. Glitter shoes. Fancy Nancy. Boas. Tutus. Bows. Dresses. Performing. Dancing. Purses. And Pink. And mostly Purple. Shoes were her third word. Purse was her second. Purple is definitely her most used.

So I put my carefully chosen neutrals in the back of the closet. I allow her to choose her purple. And today, I totally gave in and let her wear purple sparkly dress shoes to school. And I sat back and inwardly laughed as she pranced around in a frilly tutu and girly tights. These things make her smile. They express her joy. They are of her choosing.

I hope I remember this lesson throughout the seasons of life we travel with Caris. In whatever form Purple takes throughout our lives. I hope that I remember to embrace it as fully Caris.

Because you know what? The purple flowers my florist snuck in totally make the arrangement. And the new purple clothes I've added to my wardrobe have received many a compliment. And I even surprisingly found myself looking for purple bedding for our big-girl room (clearly, the more classically toned. I may be embracing, but I have my limits).

We can all benefit by welcoming a bit of unexpected Purple into our lives. And embracing its impact. I have my little purplicious lady to thank for the addition of color to my life. I'm sure there is much more to come.

Purplicious

We are in a state of purple. Purplicious, to be precise. A favorite book which has now become a favorite word and a favorite adjective. We aren't convinced it is completely associated with a favorite-dcolor. Although preference to the purple is certainly indicated. More a fun word, A fun book, A fun obsession. Caris can be heard invoking an 'I NEED' purplicious book. Mornings getting ready for school most often sound like this: 'Mom, I need Purplicious shirt. I need a purplicious shirt. I need a purplicious pony.'Anything can be persuaded with the addition of a purplicious adjective. And the other night, Caris on a random night-time wake up, woke up sweetly yelling for 'I need some Purplicious milk, Mommy!'. Purple milk?? pretty sure we have no such thing. Whoever, just an adjective to demonstrate favor to the beverage of desire. Oh, our sweet little purplicious lady.

Thursday's Belated Edition

A little story about my lil C.

Monday morning, we arrive at Caris' school to discover, 'WOW' new work! A clearly excited Caris takes off to investigate. And what does she discover but a true love of her heart, a new baby. Joy and love is instantaneous. Caris takes the new baby and proclaims 'My baby my baby!' and sets of to comfort, rock, and dress baby. I am quick to remind Caris (as I spy little eyes closing in) that this baby is the school's baby and must be shared.

On pick-up, there is my sweet girl once again excitedly showing me her new found joy. 'My baby' is adored. And with some convincing, she leaves baby in her little crib. 'Baby stays at school' I remind her. And so we set off for home. Leaving baby for another day.

That evening, sitting with Poppa G at dinner, I coax Caris to tell us about her day. I try the normal questions, who did you play with, what did you do, what did you eat. Lil C indulges us with obligatory responses for a bit.

And then, she stands and proceeds to go into a lengthy and involved description. Mainly nonsensical to us, it was clear her little speech was full of information we could not glean. She was purposeful and direct and animated. Looking at us and talking along, knowing we could understand.

With her soliloquy drawing to a close, Caris looks at her Daddy straight in the eyes. One hand perched on her hip, the other raised up at her side, hand in the air. Serious, she was indeed, expressed through her eyes and tone. She begins shaking her head and says clear as day:

'But Daddy, you can't take that Baby home.'

You think she heard that a few times that day? And don't you know she had been thinking of that baby all evening?

Again, not sure if I can quite do this poetic justice. But I seriously laughed about this ALL evening. I mean, girl was downright focused.

'You CAN'T take that baby home'

Re-adjusting

Along with resoling, I am also readjusting. To life after Holidays. I've heard the sentiment is shared, but it feels like I look up after the span from Halloween to New Years and realize we've been in three months of beautiful chaos. Wonderful at the time, no doubt. But packed full of celebrations, travels, plans, and preparations and ending with an assimilation of an entire new batch of goodies to fit into our already taxed space.

Don't get me wrong, I love every second of the celebrations and the remnants, but I think this is where he resolutions come into place. It's as if you exhale from it all and realize, you gotta get a grip on this thing we try to function in daily. We resolve to turn away from the holiday indulgence of foods and the lax in normal workouts to make room for celebrations. Out of necessity we resolve to purge and cleanse to make way for the new excitements and the new year. We make lists of good habits to hope for as they fell by the wayside with our prioty preperations. The fun and relaxation has come to an end and the list of to-dos shows up in stark contrast.

So thus the readjustment.

Although my 'holiday break' consisted of one winter holiday day and an extra used day of PTO, it felt like a holiday break in some ways. Caris' school was closed and we had grandmas and aunties serving as babysitters in it's stead. That meant no drop-off, a little later sleeping and coinciding later bedtime, no fighting to get out the door, no pick-up, no late afternoon meltdowns, no rush to get home to get in dinner/bath/bed in an hour, and the bonus of fun family activities in the evening. It was refreshing.

Our return to roles of student and working-city-mom has not come easy. We've had a few of those morning bodering on disaster. Fighting over jackets, breakdowns at school, tears (from us both) on approaching long days away, tardiness, and forgetfulness. It's been a bit rough at times. But the return to routine has not been without benefits. Primarily a return to a Caris who minds and follows directions.

We've spent the past few weekends purging, re-organizing, and re-arranging. We have a ways to go yet. But thanks to Caris' new closet from Susie and JJ, I feel we at least have her room under some control. Office and the remaining rooms are still pending...

So thus the new year has so far been one of readjustment. I had one succesful morning with resolutions: early arousal, workout, juice, ready before Caris, on time for work, breakfast made. The rest have been interrupted by Caris attempting to wake up early enough to see 'My Daddy' and my futile attempts to encourage additional slumber. Well futile for Caris; usually succesful for me which throws my whole morning into dysfunction. Fun times.

So we continue on. Trying to resolve and attempting to readjust.

Also, isn't todays date so great? 1/11/11. A perfect date for resolutions and readjustments to realign.

A Look at Christmas...

A little look back at our Christmas celebrations. What a beautiful holiday we had this year.

Getting ready for Christmas! Caris taking a break during Christmas decorating. I love that this picture has some our favorite Christmas decor from the season.: Caris LOVED her 'Elf!!' and our new shelf tradition and our little Santa door hanger was a favorite daily greeter. The pine cones were lil C's own to decorate with and she did great. I put the little pink tree in Caris' room and it was my favorite this year's find. We made a good attempt at an Advent calendar this year, although it was not without it's challenges for our toddler.
We took a trip up to College Station to go with Aunt Alli on a tour Santa's Village and had a hay ride through an amazing light display. Caris LOVED the lights and the dancing. Such a fun little venture that we will definitely have to go back to.

Fun and fancy Christmas party, family pic. Caris loved her fancy party and that she got to wear her pretty necklace from Daddy.

Opening stockings at home before Christmas Eve. Left to us by our 'Elf' when we left our house to go to the North Pole to let Santa know of our traveling destinations.

Christmas jammas!!! Our annual Christmas Eve tradition. Which our family was kind to wait on us for since we drove after Garrett's Christmas Eve shift so we didn't get there until technically Christmas morning...(1:00am). (apparently driving on Christmas Eve is also a tradition....last years was 10 hours in a blizzard; this years was 7 in a rain storm)

This jammies were so so adorable and extra adorable because they were almost identical to a matching set us Jones girls had once-upon a year and the best picture displayed as proof.

Christmas morning!!!! My most magical of childhood memories. We love Christmas mornings filled with lights, surprises, and crepes. I was so excited to begin to introduce Caris to one of my most joyful childhood traditions. She didn't quite get it this year, but she was definitely excited to find a new baby doll, highchair, and her own kitchen waiting for her beneath the lights. And not pictured, a new little table just her size that she LOVES. Grandma Susie and JJ definitely got us in the right direction for Christmas morning. We had a busy, happy, tired girl!

Aunt Shelby's traditional nativity gift. This year's was so fun! Caris can't get enough of playing with 'baby Jesus' and his 'mommy'. Auntie Shelby also gave Caris her own 'Com-Puter' so she fit right in with our Santa treats of iPads and Airbook. Fun!

The matching Patagonia outfits Annabelle gave to her parents. And a happy Mrs. Susie Clause.

Gingerbread house making!! Shortly thereafter this structure collapsed....but it was a brief moment of glory. JJ was on detail duty. Caris was on eating duty....

My little ballerina. She LOVED this little tutu from Auntie TJ. We couldn't get her to take it off....and we may need to find a ballet class soon. Auntie TJ indulged Caris in her girly side and (luckily) gave lil C her very own 'purrshe' / bag and fancy bracelets! She was in love.
Love my Christmas girl. What a joyful morning we had.


Our wonderful celebration with the Blundells! Truly a joyful evening full of Christmas celebrations. I love our 'private' Christmas (as Grammy Jane called it once). We had such a nice dinner, day, and a great evening of family. Caris was really in heaven and loved opening her presents! Caris LOVED LOVED her bitty Baby from Grammy. I will never forget the moment she opened it. 'Oh wow. Baby!!'. I don't think she has gone without it in her arms since.

Caris, AKA 'Fancy Nancy' Blundell. Aunt Alli really hooked up our fancy lady with all things pink. Caris has had a love for scarves and this one suits her just perfectly. She would wear this skirt all the time if she could. And how cute are those sparkly Toms shoes?? SO Caris.

And this is the now infamous 'My Car'. Caris was so so excited upon first opening her car from Aunt Natalie and seeing the picture of what to come. After a rush put-together by Uncle Jordan and Daddy, Caris soon entered her car and pretty much has yet to leave.

Clearly loves her new stool created lovingly by Grandaddy and Grammy. She has been downright obsessed with sitting in stools and tables. Plus check out her adorable outfit Grammy made!
And there it is; our Christmas in pictures. And in apparently a lot more words than I originally intended....

We are so thankful for our family and their loving kindness demonstrated in generous form over the holiday season. What wonderful memories we made this year. And I'm so thankful for Caris' fun Aunts and Uncles since I was super boring in my gift selections. Caris has been having such a blast with all her new things! Honestly, as much as I kind of avoid toys and clutter, we needed an age-appropriate upgrade. And I have to add, I really tried to prepare ahead as last year seemed so stressful between travels and preparations. It helped. The lesson I learned this year is where I can simplify. That will be my goal for next year! Let's just say, Caris has all her birthday presents from us still wrapped in Christmas paper...lesson learned. Although there is beauty in the chaos, I think it is easy to overwhelm. The joys I have from Christmas are always found in the simple magic of lights, lounging for two days in new sweatsuits, cooking, and staying put for days. Love these simple joys.

Resolving

Resolving.

Growing up, we had the annual tradition New Years tradition of sitting around the table, proclaiming and listing all things we resolved to do, wished for, and goals we aspired to achieve. We made not so much resolutions, but proclaimed our ambitions and pondered our predictions for the year to come. I've somewhat lost this habit, and I feel the merit to be sorely missed. Although the pattern of resolving and forgetting is the most prevalent, there is something to be said about publicly proclaiming good intents and hoped ambitions. Perhaps by announcing to the inter-webs all that I aspire to, I will adhere to my ambitions out of simple desire to maintain face. So, in list format, I am proclaiming my hopes and good intents for 2011, some simple habits and others wistful, idyllic life changes:

Simple changes.....

- Bring my lunch to work. I go through phases with this little habit. I hate scavenging the cafeterias for sub-par food and succumbing to bad snacks out of doldrums and boredom. But the majority of the time, I forget the simple act of bringing cheaper, healthier foods to work. Sounds so simple. But somehow, I have not succeeded.

- Get up with Garrett in the mornings. My caveat is that I don't have to if it's in the 4a.m. hour...that is NOT on my radar. Again, such a simple thing with many added benefits. See my husband, get ready prior to Caris competing for attention, be on time for work, and perhaps remember to make my lunch. But with the ever-changing sleep habits of a baby-turned-toddler and a small house not so good about hiding noises, I'm good at finding excuses.

- Introduce some 'vegetable purges' or just have more focused efforts on healthier foods. I'm thinking more juicing, lots of quinoa, farrow, and no cokes.

- Resolve my career conundrum. Including: explore a creative outlet, narrow my future career aspirations, and resolve a lingering board issue. It's time for a move of some sorts and I feel 2011 is the time.

And some idyllic hopes....

- To love a little more freely and see beauty more clearly. And in the same token, not be so feeling-sensitive.

- Embrace the life we have while still working to creating the best within what we have been given.

- Stay organized!! Purge, purge, purge and stay on top of cleaning out Caris' things.

- And not be so lazy :)

What I'm looking forward to...

- Garrett's completion of medical school and general surgery rotations!!! Woohoo.

- Caris turning two.

- My little niece arriving soon!

- Mini family vacation

- Garrett and I turning the big 3-0.

- And what the year brings us not yet known!

So there you have them. My resolves for the New Year.

Here's a brief synopsis of how they have gone so far:

Today, I not only did not get up with Garrett, but manage to sleep 45 minutes past my personal alarm. I left my pre-made lunch in the fridge and had a coke at work. Yesterday, I destroyed Caris' newly cleaned bedroom with a half-attempt of purging. I also fell asleep on the couch at 9:00 p.m. And I can't even speak about my work frustrations today....

So clearly, I'm off to a great start!!

Look out, 2011, here I come!!!