Discipline

Disciplining an almost-two-year old is fun.

I seriously almost just left this post with only the above sentence. Because I'm pretty sure I don't have to elaborate on that much. Anyone who has, had, or been around a two-year old knows that they can be a challenge. Independence, Opinions, Abilities, Frustrations, Wants, Needs, Mine all collide into a mess of frustrations. Called being two.

In all honestly, Caris is a pretty good little toddler. Hilarious, always, which certainly keeps things joyful. And I am thankful for a few things that have worked in our favor. She is very verbal, which has REALLY helped work through frustrations. She follows directions well (thanks to school) and loves to be a helper, so I kind of know how to refocus. She is not overly physically active, either, which makes it easier to keep things corralled. And she went through an independent-my-way streak a little earlier, so we've worked through some of that. Those things help.

But still. Discipline is fun.

Too be honest, I have always been very nervous about my ability to discipline. A little too tender-hearted, a little too over-analytical, I felt I would very much struggle in this area. And truthfully, I have no idea really what I'm doing. I know there are tons of theories, books etc. out there and I have done my share of reading. But what I am learning is much like what I learned in the infant stage.

It kind of comes naturally. You can read, analyze, research, and worry to death. But what I have found, is if I give myself some time and really listen to Caris and watch how our personalities interact, we can end up with a much more workable solution. That most of the time, end up looking quite similar to one of the never-ending researched theories. I found this to be the case in nursing, feeding, developmental stages, sleeping, all sorts of things I worried myself too much over.

In the end, doing what is best for my daughter and our family works out just fine. It takes time, no doubt. And it takes doubt, for a time. But you find your way. Together.

I get lots of opinions, ideas, and advice. My degrees were in related fields. I know the knowledge is there. But what works best? My instincts. I truly never really felt I would have the 'Motherly' demeanor. But it's there. And I am learning to try to trust it.

That being said, disciplining a two year old is fun.

Particularly when you know the reason they are acting up is because of fatigue (that I've contributed too) or valid source of excitement or varied other explainable reasons.

But we are entering a stage where our discipline looks much more structured. And I am becoming much more cognizant of how to enforce. And with all that being said about finding our way and what works best for you, I'd love to hear what works for others. Ideas to add to the toolbox
never hurt :)

Right now, here's a little of what we are doing: We do a lot of 'serious talks, look at Mommy's eyes', showing appropriate uses of hands, telling mad feelings to walk away, persistently focusing on a solution until an 'I'm sorry' or remedy is utilized. I've started to try do some 'take aways' and rewards, mainly in the form of books. That isn't working great. Does it just take time? I could probably go on, but I'm finding kind of hard to extrapolate implementation into words :)

Disciplining a two year old is fun.

The overarching thing I've come to realize, is that with lots of love and lots of patience, technique is kind of secondary. My most successful forms of discipline come when I am PATIENT and don't let my emotions get in the way. And I let LOVE dominate the interaction. Truly, I think those two things are the most important and successful way to discipline. I am hoping if I focus on those truths, the little techniques will fall into place.

But really, would love to get some feedback from those who have been there and are doing that :)